In business, "Rocks" are the 3-5 most important priorities for the quarter — the big things that must get done. The concept comes from Stephen Covey's famous demonstration: if you put big rocks in a jar first, you can fit pebbles and sand around them. But if you start with sand, the big rocks never fit.
Family life works the same way. Without clear priorities, urgent tasks crowd out important ones. You end up busy but not progressing.
Why 90 Days?
A quarter is the perfect timeframe for meaningful goals:
- Long enough to accomplish something significant
- Short enough to maintain focus and urgency
- Natural rhythm that aligns with seasons and school terms
- Regular reset points to adjust and celebrate
Annual goals often fail because a year feels infinite. Quarterly Rocks create healthy pressure.
What Makes a Good Rock?
The SMART-ish Test
Good Rocks are Specific, Measurable, Achievable (in 90 days), Relevant (to your family values), and Time-bound (deadline = end of quarter).
Good Rocks
- Save $3,000 for emergency fund
- Establish weekly family dinner (5x/week)
- Complete kitchen renovation
- Kids reading 20 min daily for 90 days
Weak Rocks
- Save more money
- Eat better as a family
- Fix up the house
- Kids should read more
Example Family Rocks
Complete Couch to 5K as a family
Why it matters: Build healthy habits together, model fitness for kids
Success measure: All family members complete the program and run a 5K
Owner: Parent A leads, whole family participates
Build $5,000 emergency fund
Why it matters: Financial security reduces stress, models saving for kids
Success measure: $5,000 in dedicated emergency savings account
Owner: Parent B manages, family reduces discretionary spending
Establish monthly adventure day
Why it matters: Create memories, break routine, strengthen bonds
Success measure: 3 adventure days completed this quarter
Owner: Rotate planning responsibility each month
The Quarterly Rhythm
Week 1: Rock Setting
Hold a family planning session. Review last quarter (what worked, what didn't). Brainstorm potential Rocks. Narrow to 2-4 priorities. Assign owners and define success measures.
Weeks 2-12: Execution
Review Rocks briefly in weekly family meetings. Check progress against milestones. Address obstacles as they arise. Stay focused — resist adding new Rocks mid-quarter.
Week 13: Review
Did you complete your Rocks? Celebrate wins (even partial ones). Analyze what helped and what hindered. Capture lessons for next quarter.
Common Mistakes
Too Many Rocks
If you have 7 Rocks, you have no Rocks. The power of this system is focus. Limit yourself to 2-4 maximum. It's better to complete 3 than abandon 7.
Rocks That Are Really Pebbles
A Rock should be substantial — something that moves the needle. "Clean out the garage" might be a Rock. "Organize one drawer" is a pebble. Save pebbles for your regular to-do list.
Set and Forget
Rocks without regular check-ins become wishes. Review them weekly. Keep them visible. The weekly family meeting is perfect for this.
No Clear Owner
Even family Rocks need someone accountable for driving progress. "We'll all work on it" means no one will. Assign an owner for each Rock.
Getting Kids Involved
Kids can have their own Rocks too! Age-appropriate examples:
- Ages 5-8: Learn to tie shoes, read 10 books, learn to ride a bike
- Ages 9-12: Improve one grade by one letter, save $50, learn a new skill
- Teens: Get driver's license, build college application, earn $500
Having personal Rocks teaches kids goal-setting and follow-through — skills that will serve them for life.
"Our first quarter with Rocks, we accomplished more as a family than we had in the previous two years of vague intentions. The clarity is everything."
Start This Quarter
- Schedule a 1-hour family planning session
- Brainstorm what matters most right now
- Choose 2-4 Rocks (start conservative)
- Define success clearly for each
- Review weekly in family meetings
- Celebrate at quarter's end
90 days from now, you'll either have made meaningful progress on your biggest priorities, or you'll have let another quarter slip by. The choice is yours.